Could birth of Jesus be the real reason behind economic recession

Its been blamed on Housing Crisis. Its been blamed on our the colossally lavish and profligate lifestyle. Its been blamed on the very foundations of capitalism and free market economy work. Despite the amount of research and efforts put into finding the reasons, we are still no less farther from finding the truth then we were at the advent of global recession. But things may be taking a turn for the better, if a not-so-well-known Indian economist is to be believed.

Meet XXXX XXXXX (who did not want to be named and did not want to fake-named either), an unknown Indian whom you may meet walking in the street and wonder, “who the hell is he,” and walk away without bothering to answer your own question. Yes, this very XXXX XXXXX, has come up with the theory that could shake up the foundations of modern economics to the very core.

Here is XXXX XXXXX explaining in his own words, his theory:

“Right from the childhood, I had a feeling that somehow somewhere there is a problem with the current economic order. I mean I remember at the age of 6, asking the question to my father, ‘How will the mixed economy of India fare against the free market economies of the world?’ Even though the term ‘free market’ itself was unknown then, but I could see it coming in a few years time. My father was perplexed to say the least. But he always encouraged my questions, even though he could not answer them. At the age of 8 years, I asked him, ‘What will happen when the now iridescent surface of housing bubble goes burst, for no boom lasts forever, how will the global-macro-economy cope up with the calamity?’ My father brushed aside the question, with a flick of his hand. I kept quiet, but deep down in my heart, I knew, there was something wrong with the very foundations of world economy.”

“Throughout my adolescence and even afterwards, one thing that constantly gnawed at my heart with all its canine prowess was the question, ‘What is wrong with the world economy?’ I sat hours on an end, lost, immersed deeply in thought, gazing out of the window into the empty oblivion, looking out for reasons for this malady facing the world economy. The more I pondered over it, the more I realized that it has to be something really basic, something really trivial, something that has been overlooked for centuries and centuries. And not only that, to remain concealed from the inquisitive eyes of the great economists, it has to be something that has been hailed as a major milestone in the history of human civilization as a whole. Just then, I knew that something was within my grasp, just within the grab of my fingers, but was slipping from my hands right at the moment I felt I have got it, as if my hands were greased. Then about six months back it hit upon me, and I could see it as clear as one would see a pyramid crystal striking at the bridge of one's nasal cavity.”

“The reason was the birth of Jesus Christ. Anybody who does a little free thinking over the problems facing free market economy will come to the same conclusion. Take for instance housing crisis. Housing crisis arose because of tendency of humans to seek a dwelling of their own. This tendency, innocuous though it seems, is the primary cause of current financial crisis and is a direct consequence of the descent of the Son of God, Jesus Christ, upon earth. Christian teachings, of never asking an eye in return for an eye and giving the other cheek away, have made humans crave out for safe abodes where they can live in peace and harmony with their neighbors, happily ever after. In the good old days, man was content to cudgel his neighbors or mince into raw meat his opponents. Consequently the desire for having a safe heaven to rest idle did not arise. Hence, there were no houses and consequently no housing crisis or global depressions.”

“In summary, the human civilization would have lived without any economic depression for ten's of thousand years to come, if only the Son of God, Jesus Christ had not decided one fine day to descend to mother earth and to deprive a virgin maiden of the opportunity of getting pregnant by good old means of penetration of her vulva by a throbbing manhood. That is not to blame the great Jesus Christ, we all so love him.”