Pakistan will hand over toy replicas of India's Most Wanted

Washington: Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari said on Tuesday his Government was not responsible for last week's attacks on Mumbai and there was no tangible evidence to implicate any Pakistani in the Wednesday's terror attack. But, he added as a mark of respect for the feelings of Indians, Pakistan will be handing over toy replicas of all the gentlemen on India's “Most Wanted List of Toy Replicas.” Indian Government has been demanding for these replicas to be handed over for quite some time now.

The toy replicas will come in all shapes and sizes, from the size of a barbie doll, to real life ones like the sex dolls available on the internet. “As a special mark of sincerity and respect,” Mr Zardari said that, “he would himself hand over a jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim to the Prime Minister of India.” Though President Zardari refused to give a time line, he said that Pakistani Government is committed to “timely delivery” of the same. These replicas can be used for target practice by the armed forces or at the traditional effigy burning procession held every alternate wednesday in various Indian cities. “The Jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim can be used at next Dussehara or do Indians call it Vijay Dashmi,” added President Zardari with a slightly mischievous glint in his eyes.

Zardari also said that, “if India produced evidence that a Pakistani group was behind the attacks, his government would send even more such replicas. But at the same time, Pakistan's voluntarily giving away of these replicas should not be taken as a sign of any weakness or admittance that Pakistani Government or Military or Intelligence Services were in any way implicated in the terrorist attacks on Mumbai last Wednesday.”

“This is latest amongst many such series of steps and gestures takes from the Pakistani side. We are extending our hand of friendship towards India without any preconditions, now the onus lies on India to reciprocate,” added Zardari without addressing concerns expressed by certain journalists regarding the quality of these toy replicas. To the question, as to why this demand by India was not met before, Zardari said, “better late than never.”

Sources told RSS that the manufacturing of these replicas is already in full swing. Apart from pacifying the furious neighbour by fullfiling its long held demand, this will provide employment oppurtunities to hundreds of unemployed destitute youths in Pakistan. Unemployment has been rampant ever since the global recession hit Pakistani shores. This will be welcome relief for Pakistani youth.

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SHARING THE GRIEF: Students from 18 countries, including Pakistan, hold Pyrex Glass Dildos inside a school auditorium in Lucknow on Monday in memory of those killed in the Mumbai attacks. The students are here to take part in the International Young Mathematician Convention.

Terrorism is good for the economy

The 30-Share Bombay Stock Exchange Sensitive Index (BSE Sensex) fell by 252.85 points to 8839.87. This in stark contrast Friday's rise of 80 points, what many believe, confirms hypothesis that the War on Terror is bad for the Economy. Many experts are already calling for a restraint in our efforts to combat terror and some are even suggesting abandoning of such endeavors altogether.

The hypothesis that wars lead to economic growth is nothing new. Ever since the Science of Economy has taken over the burden of explaining economic phenomenon, we have seen book after book smeared with words, sentences, paragraphs and pages dedicated to explaining the relationships between wars and economy. One particular example is the global economic crisis of 1929, which was followed by WW2. Post WW2 we have seen sustained and unprecedented economic growth, which indeed has been fueled by other wars that have taken place over the second half of the last century as well. This apparent close nexus between wars and economic growth has been, as some economists claim it, the cornerstone of modern capitalism.

Now some experts argue that Global War on Terror is just another War, and failure of Global War on Terror to give impetus to global economy is an indication that the two, viz. War and Economy, are not interlinked. But still some other experts argue that, War on Terror apart from a few friendly fires here and there and a few rogue missiles treating children's nurseries as terrorist camps, is essentially about eliminating violence and restoring peace. This apparently ulterior motive of War on Terror forestalls any advantages that might have been yielded to the economy. So these other experts continue to argue that War on Terror is not the same as any other war and two are very different both in character and final impact on the economy.

A further impetus to the hypothesis is the Global Recession that some experts claim has been a direct result of Global War on Terror initiated by US and in which India is an active partner along with a host of other countries. Experts further claim that the Greater the War on Terror the greater is the damage to the economy. Similarly, greater the extent of War on Terror, greater is still the extent to which impact can be felt adversaly on the economy. If these experts are to be believed monday's fall at the BSE is nothing but just another attestation of this hypothesis.

Professor D. Rangarajan from War and Economic Studies Department, of IIIIIWET, says, and we quote, “On Friday, while terrorist attack was on, we saw a rise on stocks at the BSE, and on Monday when this so-called “battle” against terrorism was won the trends were reversed. Now it is well established fact that Stock-markets are the barometer of success of any economy. So the facts speak for themselves. It is high time that the relevant authorities, and now that the same person holds both Finance ministry and Home ministry this should be relatively easy, take notice and the so-called War on Terror if not put on halt, at least curbed to the extent that it does not in any way hinder the growth of economy.”

From our side, we can only add that, if the words of these eminent and renowned economists are to be believed, authorities should pay heed to these voices and take the steps necessary (or rather not take unnecessary steps in this case :) to ensure proper growth of the economy.