Pakistan will hand over toy replicas of India's Most Wanted

Washington: Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari said on Tuesday his Government was not responsible for last week's attacks on Mumbai and there was no tangible evidence to implicate any Pakistani in the Wednesday's terror attack. But, he added as a mark of respect for the feelings of Indians, Pakistan will be handing over toy replicas of all the gentlemen on India's “Most Wanted List of Toy Replicas.” Indian Government has been demanding for these replicas to be handed over for quite some time now.

The toy replicas will come in all shapes and sizes, from the size of a barbie doll, to real life ones like the sex dolls available on the internet. “As a special mark of sincerity and respect,” Mr Zardari said that, “he would himself hand over a jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim to the Prime Minister of India.” Though President Zardari refused to give a time line, he said that Pakistani Government is committed to “timely delivery” of the same. These replicas can be used for target practice by the armed forces or at the traditional effigy burning procession held every alternate wednesday in various Indian cities. “The Jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim can be used at next Dussehara or do Indians call it Vijay Dashmi,” added President Zardari with a slightly mischievous glint in his eyes.

Zardari also said that, “if India produced evidence that a Pakistani group was behind the attacks, his government would send even more such replicas. But at the same time, Pakistan's voluntarily giving away of these replicas should not be taken as a sign of any weakness or admittance that Pakistani Government or Military or Intelligence Services were in any way implicated in the terrorist attacks on Mumbai last Wednesday.”

“This is latest amongst many such series of steps and gestures takes from the Pakistani side. We are extending our hand of friendship towards India without any preconditions, now the onus lies on India to reciprocate,” added Zardari without addressing concerns expressed by certain journalists regarding the quality of these toy replicas. To the question, as to why this demand by India was not met before, Zardari said, “better late than never.”

Sources told RSS that the manufacturing of these replicas is already in full swing. Apart from pacifying the furious neighbour by fullfiling its long held demand, this will provide employment oppurtunities to hundreds of unemployed destitute youths in Pakistan. Unemployment has been rampant ever since the global recession hit Pakistani shores. This will be welcome relief for Pakistani youth.