Monday, January 12, 2009
Web based company approaches raped Meerut girl
Reuters: A web based company has approached a raped Meerut girl, after she revealed that 14 persons gang-raped her Tuesday last. The girl, whose name has been withheld to ensure her privacy, is a resident of 271, block 11, Navya nagar, Meerut. Her phone number is 94052-22484, last 6 digits apparently being a smart combination of her date of birth. She is a student of pharmacy at Translam Institute of Pharmaceutical Education Research. Her Orkut and Facebook accounts can be searched for with the name of her father and mother. From her Orkut account, she has no boyfriend (oh the poor-poor girl, one's heart goes out for her).
The web based company (name withheld) famous for pornographic X-rated content, has reportedly offered the girl lead role in its upcoming movie venture “7:1.” An unnamed source mentioned that “somebody who has been raped by 14 people is ideally suited for the role.” The girl's father, Prakash Ram and mother Rajni Devi are extremely elated at this offer, modalities of which are being negotiated in extreme secrecy.
The web based company (name withheld) famous for pornographic X-rated content, has reportedly offered the girl lead role in its upcoming movie venture “7:1.” An unnamed source mentioned that “somebody who has been raped by 14 people is ideally suited for the role.” The girl's father, Prakash Ram and mother Rajni Devi are extremely elated at this offer, modalities of which are being negotiated in extreme secrecy.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
NGO to hold World No Murders for Petty Reasons Day, 2009
Delhi: To increase awareness against murders committed for petty reasons, amongst criminals and especially murderers, with special emphasis on murders done by stabbing in the back, slitting of throat and poking foreign pointed objects in or towards genitals, Oamis, a Delhi based NGO, is organizing a workshop to commemorate the ‘World No Murders for Petty Reasons Day.’
“Every year, we conduct events as part of our No More Murders for Petty Reasons Mission from 11th-15th January, as we feel that such informative sessions for the criminals will help them to incorporate social concerns regarding such murders in their future enterprises,” said Oamis executive director, Suja Pijay Vukhija. Oamis or Organization of Aware Murdrers in Society’s “The No Murders for Petty Tour” for the murderers at the Tihar Jail on Tuesday is part of its week long No More Murders for Petty Reasons Mission, 2009.
The seventeen participating jails include Tihar Jail (Delhi), Alipore Jail and Vellore Central Prison to name a few important ones.
The workshop will initially focus on evidences of criminal activities that are related to murders for petty reasons over the last 100 years. However, the highlight of the event will be interactive session whereby criminals will be asked to enact situations and different kinds of murders for petty reasons (fake ones of course
, you don't expect them to get nasty during workshop) they have committed or planned during their illustrious carrier.
For instance, while one group will enact stabbings and relate all the petty reasons to it, another will give combined history lessons on the industrial revolution and its effects on the murders for petty reasons. “These exercises will give us a clear understanding of what exactly is happening as far as murders for petty reasons are concerned and help us in incorporating this knowledge in any future research on the subject,” said, an obviously elated, Aadhika Tyer, a budding no-murders-for-petty-reasons-enthusiast. The best group will be chosen and given the coveted Murders Only for Non-Petty Reasons Trophy along with a prize money of Rs 2 lakhs.
Oamis, as part of its program, will also train five criminals from Tihar Jail as no-murders-for-petty-reasons-ambassadors. These criminals will be responsible for spreading awareness amongst other criminals and murderers inside and outside jail premises.
On the eve of week long workshop, the director of Oamis, N.P.M. Sevaram, had this message to give to all the criminals and budding criminal enthusiasts, “Let us all pledge that on Wednesday, 14th January, there will be no murders for petty reasons, such as a mobile (ok Nokia E71 and the likes excluded!), a hand watch (not even Rolex one, no exceptions for this one), a fake ring (in case of doubt always ask the concerned person, before embarking on the nasty stuff) or anything similar. Further, let us all pledge that in future no matter how urgent and pressing the need for money is, all murderers will adhere to no-murders-for-petty-reasons policy. If you need less money, than donate ‘extra money’ to some NGO; Oamis's own Donate-to-Us desk is always no further than a hand's length.”
On our part, we common people can only hope that the workshop is a huge success and is a pivotal point in shaping criminal history of the nation.
“Every year, we conduct events as part of our No More Murders for Petty Reasons Mission from 11th-15th January, as we feel that such informative sessions for the criminals will help them to incorporate social concerns regarding such murders in their future enterprises,” said Oamis executive director, Suja Pijay Vukhija. Oamis or Organization of Aware Murdrers in Society’s “The No Murders for Petty Tour” for the murderers at the Tihar Jail on Tuesday is part of its week long No More Murders for Petty Reasons Mission, 2009.
The seventeen participating jails include Tihar Jail (Delhi), Alipore Jail and Vellore Central Prison to name a few important ones.
The workshop will initially focus on evidences of criminal activities that are related to murders for petty reasons over the last 100 years. However, the highlight of the event will be interactive session whereby criminals will be asked to enact situations and different kinds of murders for petty reasons (fake ones of course
, you don't expect them to get nasty during workshop) they have committed or planned during their illustrious carrier.For instance, while one group will enact stabbings and relate all the petty reasons to it, another will give combined history lessons on the industrial revolution and its effects on the murders for petty reasons. “These exercises will give us a clear understanding of what exactly is happening as far as murders for petty reasons are concerned and help us in incorporating this knowledge in any future research on the subject,” said, an obviously elated, Aadhika Tyer, a budding no-murders-for-petty-reasons-enthusiast. The best group will be chosen and given the coveted Murders Only for Non-Petty Reasons Trophy along with a prize money of Rs 2 lakhs.
Oamis, as part of its program, will also train five criminals from Tihar Jail as no-murders-for-petty-reasons-ambassadors. These criminals will be responsible for spreading awareness amongst other criminals and murderers inside and outside jail premises.
On the eve of week long workshop, the director of Oamis, N.P.M. Sevaram, had this message to give to all the criminals and budding criminal enthusiasts, “Let us all pledge that on Wednesday, 14th January, there will be no murders for petty reasons, such as a mobile (ok Nokia E71 and the likes excluded!), a hand watch (not even Rolex one, no exceptions for this one), a fake ring (in case of doubt always ask the concerned person, before embarking on the nasty stuff) or anything similar. Further, let us all pledge that in future no matter how urgent and pressing the need for money is, all murderers will adhere to no-murders-for-petty-reasons policy. If you need less money, than donate ‘extra money’ to some NGO; Oamis's own Donate-to-Us desk is always no further than a hand's length.”
On our part, we common people can only hope that the workshop is a huge success and is a pivotal point in shaping criminal history of the nation.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Lack of winter fog disrupts Air and Rail travel in the Capital
New Delhi: A lack of any kind of fog over the national capital increased the visibility levels to above 10,000 metres, disrupting train and flight travel for the second consecutive day, today.
"My flight was right on time. I was going to Srinagar. Reason for right time is given to be good weather and lack of fog. Now what do I do?" asked Amit, a passenger.
Yesterday no flights were canceled and all the flights took off on time.
"My daughter was going to Ahmedabad and her flight came on time. We have come here from Meerut and we are facing lot of problems. We were expecting a delay of no less than six hours, and now you can probably understand our diabolical situation," said Alok Kumar, relative of a passenger.
Train schedules were also unaffected with no cancellations. And for the third time in the history of Indian Railways not one train arrived more than 1 hour late. The other two instances being yesterday and the day of 16th April 1853, when first ever passenger train started in India between Bombay and Thane.
"I was expecting to meet my maternal aunt in Kanpur on my way to Delhi (from Lucknow) at 6'0 clock in the morning, as I was expecting train to be delayed by 8 hours. However, the train even reached Delhi by this time," said Pushpesh, son of a retired beggar in the Indian Railways.
Road traffic also moved at a slightly swifter pace when compared to the usual snail's pace, as the roads remained open due to good visibility. As a result many office-goers reached before time.
"We had to wait for the security guard for over two hours," said Prakash, an annoyed employee of a yet to be named IT company.
North India usually witnesses early morning fog every winter when night temperatures often dip below five degrees Celsius. Despite the last two fogless days, weather department is promising a foggy winter ahead. We can do all but pray, that weather gods will relent and cover Delhi skies with dense thick fog so that Air and Rail traffic resumes to normal.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
GNU to use BSE
In what is widely viewed as yet another feather to the much adorned cap of Indian economy. GNU, the Free Software Foundation's (FSF) sister organization recognized BSE Sensex as prime seed for its Random Number Generators in the GNU Scientific Library. GNU Spokesman, U. Namsekops, said that in the tests conducted proved BSE to be better random number generator than even physical random number generators (which some people also call "real" random number generators). These include dice, coin flips, the shuffling of playing cards, the use of yarrow stalks in the I Ching, and many other techniques.
BSE Sensex generated uniformaly distributed random numbers between 0 and 1 and consistently out performed the other well known methods of random number generation both "real" and "psuedo." It is said that, a "random number generator" based solely on deterministic computation cannot be regarded as a "true" random number generator, since its output is inherently predictable. As John von Neumann, the famous mathematician, once said, "Anyone who uses arithmetic methods to produce random numbers is in a state of sin." However if findings of GNU are to be believed, with BSE Triggered Random Number Generator (BTRNG (pronounced buttering) as it is being hailed), these skepticisms may be a thing of the past.
Experts also point out that apart from the random nature of the BSE, this shift demonstrates the growing clout of India as an emerging global super power. Such random number generation have practical applications ranging from cryptography to numerical calculations involving very high degree of randomness. With recognition of BSE as a seed for random number generation by GNU, a major milestone has been achieved in making the world recognize India as a global super power. This global recognition is a major boost to Indian Bussiness Establishment, as globally India is increasingly playing major role on all fronts.
BSE Sensex generated uniformaly distributed random numbers between 0 and 1 and consistently out performed the other well known methods of random number generation both "real" and "psuedo." It is said that, a "random number generator" based solely on deterministic computation cannot be regarded as a "true" random number generator, since its output is inherently predictable. As John von Neumann, the famous mathematician, once said, "Anyone who uses arithmetic methods to produce random numbers is in a state of sin." However if findings of GNU are to be believed, with BSE Triggered Random Number Generator (BTRNG (pronounced buttering) as it is being hailed), these skepticisms may be a thing of the past.
Experts also point out that apart from the random nature of the BSE, this shift demonstrates the growing clout of India as an emerging global super power. Such random number generation have practical applications ranging from cryptography to numerical calculations involving very high degree of randomness. With recognition of BSE as a seed for random number generation by GNU, a major milestone has been achieved in making the world recognize India as a global super power. This global recognition is a major boost to Indian Bussiness Establishment, as globally India is increasingly playing major role on all fronts.
Monday, January 5, 2009
5 billion hands
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MUMBAI, ITS VICTIMS,
TERRORISM, LET AND
PAKISTAN.
And if you are asking this question:
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The answer is:
SHIT AND MASTURBATE
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Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Pakistan will hand over toy replicas of India's Most Wanted
Washington: Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari said on Tuesday his Government was not responsible for last week's attacks on Mumbai and there was no tangible evidence to implicate any Pakistani in the Wednesday's terror attack. But, he added as a mark of respect for the feelings of Indians, Pakistan will be handing over toy replicas of all the gentlemen on India's “Most Wanted List of Toy Replicas.” Indian Government has been demanding for these replicas to be handed over for quite some time now.
The toy replicas will come in all shapes and sizes, from the size of a barbie doll, to real life ones like the sex dolls available on the internet. “As a special mark of sincerity and respect,” Mr Zardari said that, “he would himself hand over a jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim to the Prime Minister of India.” Though President Zardari refused to give a time line, he said that Pakistani Government is committed to “timely delivery” of the same. These replicas can be used for target practice by the armed forces or at the traditional effigy burning procession held every alternate wednesday in various Indian cities. “The Jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim can be used at next Dussehara or do Indians call it Vijay Dashmi,” added President Zardari with a slightly mischievous glint in his eyes.
Zardari also said that, “if India produced evidence that a Pakistani group was behind the attacks, his government would send even more such replicas. But at the same time, Pakistan's voluntarily giving away of these replicas should not be taken as a sign of any weakness or admittance that Pakistani Government or Military or Intelligence Services were in any way implicated in the terrorist attacks on Mumbai last Wednesday.”
“This is latest amongst many such series of steps and gestures takes from the Pakistani side. We are extending our hand of friendship towards India without any preconditions, now the onus lies on India to reciprocate,” added Zardari without addressing concerns expressed by certain journalists regarding the quality of these toy replicas. To the question, as to why this demand by India was not met before, Zardari said, “better late than never.”
Sources told RSS that the manufacturing of these replicas is already in full swing. Apart from pacifying the furious neighbour by fullfiling its long held demand, this will provide employment oppurtunities to hundreds of unemployed destitute youths in Pakistan. Unemployment has been rampant ever since the global recession hit Pakistani shores. This will be welcome relief for Pakistani youth.
The toy replicas will come in all shapes and sizes, from the size of a barbie doll, to real life ones like the sex dolls available on the internet. “As a special mark of sincerity and respect,” Mr Zardari said that, “he would himself hand over a jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim to the Prime Minister of India.” Though President Zardari refused to give a time line, he said that Pakistani Government is committed to “timely delivery” of the same. These replicas can be used for target practice by the armed forces or at the traditional effigy burning procession held every alternate wednesday in various Indian cities. “The Jumbo sized replica of Dawood Ibrahim can be used at next Dussehara or do Indians call it Vijay Dashmi,” added President Zardari with a slightly mischievous glint in his eyes.
Zardari also said that, “if India produced evidence that a Pakistani group was behind the attacks, his government would send even more such replicas. But at the same time, Pakistan's voluntarily giving away of these replicas should not be taken as a sign of any weakness or admittance that Pakistani Government or Military or Intelligence Services were in any way implicated in the terrorist attacks on Mumbai last Wednesday.”
“This is latest amongst many such series of steps and gestures takes from the Pakistani side. We are extending our hand of friendship towards India without any preconditions, now the onus lies on India to reciprocate,” added Zardari without addressing concerns expressed by certain journalists regarding the quality of these toy replicas. To the question, as to why this demand by India was not met before, Zardari said, “better late than never.”
Sources told RSS that the manufacturing of these replicas is already in full swing. Apart from pacifying the furious neighbour by fullfiling its long held demand, this will provide employment oppurtunities to hundreds of unemployed destitute youths in Pakistan. Unemployment has been rampant ever since the global recession hit Pakistani shores. This will be welcome relief for Pakistani youth.
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